Nearly half of American consumers went into debt during holiday shopping, and many are now avoiding the bill. Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Judson Brewer calls this “money avoidance” — ignoring our financial situation, often to our detriment. NPR’s Life Kit talked to him about how to break the habit.
“There can be all sorts of signs, including procrastination, turning away, not opening our bank account apps,” Brewer says. The problem is that “the avoidance doesn’t magically make our bank account have more money in it. It doesn’t magically get the bills paid.”
Our brains are wired for survival — seeking rewards, avoiding pain. If checking your balance once caused you distress, your brain learns to avoid it again. This creates a habit loop: trigger (thinking about money), behavior (cleaning the kitchen instead), result (bills still unpaid). Brewer, author of “Unwinding Anxiety,” suggests mapping your own loops to understand them.
The fix? Find what he calls a “bigger better offer” — something more rewarding than avoidance. That could be a mindfulness practice as simple as feeling your feet on the ground, or reframing a purchase decision: “Is the second drink really worth it? I had just as much fun with my friends and saved money.”
When you stumble — and you will — lead with curiosity, not criticism. “These two flavors of awareness — kindness and curiosity — can really help us in all things,” Brewer says.
Previously:
• This holiday season, do yourself a favor and (re)watch Reverend Billy’s “What Would Jesus Buy?”
